Last Friday morning, I got up early and drove up to the San Jacinto Mountains near my home. A storm had been in the area and I wanted to go for a hike in the fresh snow, as well as to make some images. Living at low elevation, it felt good to be back in winter for a while. I wanted to hear the sound of snow crunching under my boots. I wanted to breathe deeply and soak up the silence and sheer peace that comes with newly fallen snow. I made some images–some that I’m quite happy with–but the morning would have perfect even if I had not.
As I drove home, I turned on my car radio and slowly started piecing together the events that had happened thousands of miles away in Connecticut. Profound heartbreak is really the only way I can describe the emotions I felt as I listened to the radio, and when I arrived home, I turned on the TV and saw the images. So much devastation, so much innocence needlessly lost.
On Monday morning, I read Guy Tal’s blog post, “Heal Thyself.” His advice on how to heal after this tragedy? Unplug. Go away from the hype, the media, everything, and allow yourself to heal. Today, that’s just what I did. I went to the Mojave Desert and started walking. When I came home, I told myself that although some might consider it cliché or derivative to write about this tragedy, I still feel the need to put words down, so here I am.
As far as days go, today was pretty miserable outside. It was windy and very cold, but I found a lovely and verdant little canyon to hike up. In contrast to the mountains just a while before, it still felt autumn-like in the desert; at least the colors of fall were still around me. Several of the wetter spots I passed through must be hotspots for desert bighorn sheep: droppings were everywhere, and with good reason. Water is hard to come by out here. A little while later, underneath a grove of alders, I found the remains of a desert bighorn. Maybe it fell from the cliff above (not likely) or was killed by a mountain lion. Or, maybe it just found a peaceful place to lay down and die. Either way, I sat quietly with its bones for a little while, enjoying a reprieve from the wind, as well as the solitude.
Desert Bighorn Sheep (Ovis canadensis nelsoni)
I hiked a little further up the canyon, exploring mostly, before turning around and walking back toward my car. For the first time in nearly a week, I felt peaceful knowing that hope is not lost. When I got home, I saw reference to Jimmy Carter’s 1979 speech, in which he refers to the nation’s energy crisis as a, “crisis in confidence.” We are getting over something much more visceral than an energy crisis, but those words–crisis in confidence–echo in my head. Events like this, not just at home but abroad as well, shake our confidence to its core. They shake our confidence that hope still exists, and if we are going to continue on, we must find a way to hang onto that hope.
So, I want to thank Guy for his advice, and I want to repeat it as well: unplug yourself from everything and find a way to reconnect with the good in the world.
Desert Bouquet
I’m right there with you. I had to unplug right away, and just getting back. Every ounce of wind in my sails went poof on Friday. That last photo is fantastic.
Well written Greg and Guy. I love the sentence “Either way, I sat quietly with its bones for a little while, enjoying a reprieve from the wind, as well as the solitude.” Wilderness heals. But for how long. The momentum for change is brief unless seized and acted upon. Politicians are recidivists. They need to be held to account so confidence is restored. I must find some bones to sit with.
Spot on Greg. It is times like this that nature is the best healer. My first reaction was that of Guy’s and Morgan’s – just turn it off.
It’s a lesson my wife and I learned years ago on a trans-continental bicycle trip. There’s a world of goodness out there across America, but the media would have you think otherwise. Desiderata was created for times like this.
Thank you very much for the mention and the kind words, Greg! I also agree with Gary – the last image is wonderful and speaks to the quiet contemplation I’m sure you experienced on such an outing.
You and Guy have an affinity in your images too. That last image of yours is a beauty. The bones reference also struck me. I find it perhaps symbolic that you sat with the bones for a while to get out of the elements and the feelings of solitude. In a nationally televised service for the fallen at Sandy Hook Elementary, we as a nation were coming to terms with our own solitude and inner crisis.
Beautiful post Greg. I sure don’t have the words to express my feelings about the Newtown massacre.
Interesting and significant that your instinct was to head out into wild nature. I can’t help but feel there is a direct correlation between our growing lack of connection with our natural world and the growing madness and violence of our society.
My favorite one is the last one. I’ve tried to unplug for the past 20 years. The last thing I want in my life is the news and one of the reasons I’ve not owned a TV for the past 20 years. I also read Guys post and know he is right. We are so detached from the healing nature offers us and we can decide our own dosage.
Being a bit of a news junkie at times, I also just needed to turn everything off for awhile. Nicely written post about your experience Greg. The last image here is a great one to get lost in for awhile.
Thanks for the comments and feedback, everyone.
I suppose the bones are a metaphor for quite a few things, and Andrew, my initial reaction to your comment was that perhaps the politicians you spoke of should also consider finding some bones to sit quietly next to.
A great post Greg!
At first I kept watching in horror, then realized how unhealthy it was for me and my family. I turned it off, headed outdoors to clear my thoughts and do some shooting. I ended up in a conservatory among flowers. It was calming and peaceful.
You and Guy both are spot on with your posts!
I love the lower image! Lovely! Thanks Greg! 🙂
That sounds like the perfect way to spend the morning–any morning. I’m glad this post resonated with you, and thanks for stopping by, Rachel!
Wonderful post and images, Greg. It’s funny because any time I’m feeling down or overwhelmed, I retreat to nature. It always has a way of invigorating me. I’m glad you unplugged and headed into the desert and I hope you found some peace there.
Thanks, Bret! It is amazing how nature can rejuvenate and reinvigorate us. I know that I never feel more at peace or at ease with the world after a long day of hiking or climbing, or whatever.
Some very thoughtful and well written words Greg. One of the most important points in my life was when I realized the true power of solitude in nature and the way that it can heal. The last image is one of my favorites of yours.. powerful in many ways!
Many thanks, Kyle, for the words on the post and on the image. Solitude in nature is very healing…something I plan on more of in 2013!
Fine expression of the personal value one gets from the wilderness, Greg. It is so hard these days to really tune out and there is, indeed, a crisis in confidence building on so many important fronts. One sometimes feels like ignoring it all and just pursuing what makes us whole. And where better to seek wholeness than within nature’s solitude.
I also join the others in praising Desert Bouquet. It is a lovely image and worthy of time spent in reflection.